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Job without description, experience a must
New business in a start-up industry seeking job that has not yet been created. Must have at least three years experience in this undefined industry. Bring employer references from similar businesses, of which there are none.

Middle manager
Seeking manager with low self-esteem to oversee problem employees no one else will fire. Room for advancement for any candidates who are NOT in charge of problem employees whom no one else will fire. Interview with Chief Financial Officer’s sad, anxious nephew.

Administrative assistant
Seeking high reliable administrative aide to follow contradictory orders in a failing company with no clear mission statement. Benefits include quitting.

Telemarketing sales
Though this job is telemarketing, you will be able to put on your resume that you have experience with multi-line phones, databases and customer service. Jobs that require such skill include more telemarketing.

Some people say that a good salesman can sell ice cubes to Eskimos. We say a good salesman can sell condominium units without warning buyers about radon gas. Could you be ready for that challenge?

Available: The sort of job that ruins your back. Requirements: Must have at least three years’ experience getting your back ruined.

Cleaning woman
Need domestic help to clean house for families who don’t have the good sense to pick up after themselves. Duties include vacuuming rugs that would have taken them, what, five minutes to clean themselves? Washing their dishes when they have an automatic dishwasher sitting right there, for godsakes. And finding curiously stiff underwear in the teenagers’ rooms. Honestly, what is it with these people?

Drivers wanted
We need people to drive trucks to and from our warehouse. Must not be afraid of other drivers who will drive the same routes you do, thinking they are still employed by our company.